Brilliant but Misunderstood: The Hidden Struggles of Undiagnosed Girls with ADHD

Here are some common phrases or comments often said about undiagnosed girls with ADHD, reflecting societal misconceptions and the unique ways ADHD can manifest in girls:

"She’s so smart but doesn’t apply herself."

This is often said when a girl struggles with focus or consistency in her schoolwork despite being intelligent.

"She’s such a daydreamer."

Reflecting inattentive ADHD, this phrase downplays her struggles with staying present or focused.

"She talks too much in class."

A frequent observation when hyperactivity or impulsivity presents as excessive talking.

"She’s so creative, but she’s all over the place."

Highlighting creativity while criticizing difficulty with organization or follow-through.

"She’s too sensitive."

Pointing out emotional dysregulation without understanding its connection to ADHD.

"She’s a social butterfly but doesn’t know when to stop."

Describing impulsive behaviors in social situations.

"She’s so messy and forgetful."

Comments about poor organizational skills or memory challenges.

"She could do so well if she just tried harder."

Misunderstanding the struggles ADHD creates with executive function and motivation.

"She’s lazy."

A harmful stereotype when ADHD-related fatigue or overwhelm is mistaken for a lack of effort.

"She’s always interrupting."

Reflecting impulsive tendencies without considering their underlying cause.

"She’s a perfectionist but takes forever to finish things."

Highlighting the paralysis or procrastination often tied to ADHD.

"She doesn’t seem to listen."

Criticizing inattentiveness when the girl struggles to stay engaged or process information.

"She’s so bossy."

When leadership tendencies or attempts to manage overwhelm are misinterpreted negatively.

"She’s constantly losing things."

Reflecting challenges with memory and organization.

"She’s dramatic."

Dismissing intense emotional responses that are common with ADHD.

These comments often fail to recognize the underlying neurological challenges of ADHD and may reinforce feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt in undiagnosed girls. Understanding and addressing these tendencies with compassion and support can make a significant difference.